Self Care When Dealing With Grief

If you are dealing with grief, it is normal and natural to feel numb, empty, anxious, depressed, or intensely sad. What can you do to get through this difficult time?

• Talk about it. Share your grief and other feelings with friends, family members, minister, rabbi, or spiritual counselor—anyone who you feel supports you and can listen with compassion. If you find it hard to talk with those in your everyday life, consider seeing a professional counselor.
• Get regular massage or a massage that’s a little longer than usual. Massage increases circulation, flushes away stress hormones and increases the flow of endorphins, natural mood elevators. In a massage session, you can let go and enjoy a much-needed sense of peace and nurturing. Massage sometimes prompts tears and the expression of sadness. This is a natural, normal emotional response to nurturing touch.
• People who are dealing with grief not only feel overwhelmed with sadness, but often feel very sensitive to their environment. You may want to find a place that feels particularly safe to express your feelings. This could be at home, with a formal or informal support group, or a favorite place in nature.

Dr. Elisabeth Kübler-Ross defined five stages of grief:

• shock and denial
• anger and guilt
• bargaining
• depression
• adjustment and acceptance.

However, remember that these stages do not necessarily occur in order and that no two people experience grief in the same way. Take the time you need to deal with your grief and do not let anyone rush you to "just get over it."

Books to help you in dealing with grief:

The Grief Recovery Handbook: The Action Program for Moving Beyond Death, Divorce, and Other Losses by John W. James and Russell Friedman.

How to Go on Living When Someone You Love Dies by Therese A. Rando, Ph.D.

Healing After Loss: Daily Meditations For Working Through Grief by Martha W. Hickman.

The information on this page is provided for educational purposes. Only you know what is best for you and your situation. If in doubt, consult a healthcare professional.